I know you’ve seen it before. The couple who seems so compatible, they made the whole dating process look very easy; now they’re married and living happily ever after. What did they do so differently than anyone else you know? Was it just luck? How did they avoid dating the wrong person?
How to avoid the pitfalls of dating the wrong person
If you had the luxury of growing up in a home with your mom and dad, and witnessed them demonstrating expressions of love and respect for each other on a consistent basis, you’re more likely to seek a partner who resonates with these qualities. In addition to growing up in a healthy home like that, these parents would have also created an atmosphere for open dialogue where pre-dating advice, boundaries, and what to look for in a mate are common conversations.
Remaining optimistic
Regardless of how you grew up, and what was or what wasn’t demonstrated for you by your parents or caretakers you can now leave the past behind and look to the future. Make a point to forgive, let go of bitterness, regret, anger, and be willing and open to learn the right way to do healthy relationships and find someone wonderful. And yes, it’s VERY possible!
Planning for success
When you’re hoping to meet Mr. Right or Ms. Right, you need to have some tools available to increase your chances of success. This usually comes in the form of being willing to learn new things and have a desire to apply it. Such as having a married couple you trust give advice and provide a space for you to share your thoughts. In addition to that and (most importantly), you need to have some guardrails in place and be aware of spotting yellow and red flags in someone’s behavior.
Watch out for the warning flags
Yellow and red flags are huge and they’ll save you from a lot of wasted time, money, and heartache. It’s a different world than what our parents grew up in. But, there are timeless principles of wisdom available to those who seek it. If we were making a multi-million-dollar business deal we’d most certainly have a team of highly talented and experienced advisors on our side. So, how much more important are our lifelong relationships? Do we place that much emphasis on our personal happiness and consider the happiness of the person we have in mind?
It’s time for a change
Today is the day to begin your learning adventure. You may feel like you’re the only one to choose this path, but I guarantee putting in the hard work now will provide a more satisfying future.
Lastly, let this thought encourage you to stay on this journey: “Better relationships make better families, and better families make better communities.”
Final words of wisdom
Before giving your heart away, consider having your parents, caretakers, or a group of experienced people you trust to meet and spend time with the person you like. If they give you the thumbs up you know you’re on the right path. Make a point to be open and honest with yourself and those around you. Be watchful of pride and feeling the need to be defensive. If those two things exist, it’s a great time for you to do some interpersonal evaluations.
